You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
