I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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