You really coming over, don't trick.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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