About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
