We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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