I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
