just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We are two peas in an std pod
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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