You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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