its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize