Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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