I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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