Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
