While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
