I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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