I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
