Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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