didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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