Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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