I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
