dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You smell like stripper and shame
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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