omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
