i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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