Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Also, beer. Big fan.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
