Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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