Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
