He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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