Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
