My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
