He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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