when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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