My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
