I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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