i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
