I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
