She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Dick very happy bro
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
