I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
