Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
home. puking in laundry basket.
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Church boner. Awkwardddd
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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