Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize