Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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