girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
