My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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