Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Your penis caused this!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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