Me too!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
