Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
