Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
