So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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