I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
