I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
