You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
