Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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