I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
