dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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