I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
