I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
