I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
