WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
When are your genitals available?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
