That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize