We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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