ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
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If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
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He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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