I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
How's work?
Spinning.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
