he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
