if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
