i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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