We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
